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Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of
bleeding, he sings. Robert Benchley
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What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees
and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Rodney Dangerfield
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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite
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Puns are the highest form of literature. Alfred Hitchcock
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a
chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill
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